Musings on the road to recovery

Finding my joie de vivre

I don’t know whether it’s to do with the emergence of the sunshine, making the world seem a brighter, happier place, or whether it’s the doubling of my anti-depressant dose, (hmm tough call 😉 ) but lately, I feel more balanced. I don’t have the same extremes of emotion and my anxiety is becoming more in check.

Knowing that I was in a good mood,despite his stonking hangover, Mr RR decided to make the most of it, we went into town and had lunch at our favourite restaurant before mooching round the shops and meandering back to the car. All of the time I was out, I had a huge smile on my face, I’m certain that people in the street must have thought that I had a day release pass, but I honestly felt that life was great. For the first time in a long while, I felt happy and contented with my lot and excited about the future.

We had another busy day on Saturday, looking after a child in the afternoon – I’d offered as I wanted to see what it would be like looking after a child for a while, in preparation for if we have our own. I didn’t realise how difficult it must be for parents. After 5 hours I was exhausted, I take my hat off to you parents, who do it day in, day out. I salute you.

We went to the shop, made fairy cakes, she played in the garden, on the Cbeebies website, coloured in, drew, blew bubbles in the garden, and STILL she wasn’t tired. I however was ready to drop. When she left at 8pm, I fell asleep on the sofa, covered in a blanket and have recently awoken after 14 hours sleep.

For me, that’s a huge step forwards as my body, instead of going into a flare up, just seems to need more sleep nowadays. I’ve had two very busy days yet although I’m stiff and sore, the pain is still manageable. It gives me hope for my phased return to work.


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