Musings on the road to recovery

And the panic sets in

You know when you have a bright idea and you think you’ve thought it through but then something happens to show you that actually you were living in a bubble and not understanding the full impact of your idea? Well that’s me, right now.

I called my union rep to discuss the phased return to work, and the timescales involved and he advised that 4 weeks is the normal and that management may grant me an extension but may not. So, I could be back to full time in 4 weeks in theory. In practice that won’t happen as I know now what happens when I push myself too hard, I trigger a flare up and it takes me months to get over it.

On one level going back to work seems like sheer idiocy, I can manage the pain most of the time but that’s without any extra stress or tiredness. Factor in those 2, which are pretty much a given in teaching, and things take on a slightly surreal feel.

On the other hand, my take on it is that I will do what I can, I don’t know exactly what I’m capable of as yet as I’ve not pushed hard enough to find out, focusing on making progress, not on testing myself out. Maybe I’ll be able to manage full time work, maybe I might have to consider part time, but I’m not going to know until I try, right?

I may sound like I’m trying to convince myself that I’m capable of this, this is entirely correct. I’m reminding myself that my classroom will be better equipped for my needs, there should be a proper adjustable chair, a perching stool, a desk which is suitable, school will be aware of what I can/can’t do.

It’s going to be ok, right?

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